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1.31.2005 Most importantly, HAPPY BIRTHDAY MISS MARLENA CHRISTINE OWEN! I hope it was a beautiful one, just like you. You are an amazing person and I know this year will only bring more amazing things. I love you as my soulsister and I couldn't live without you. Follow those high dreams girl...I know you'll accomplish them Dr. Owen. I love you.
People who read my blog and don't know me...would question my sanity. My Nate cycle has been broken, never fear. Not due to anything but realization. I also realize what needs to be done...and it will be done. I can't change the past, but I can make the future my life. And there is light at the end of the tunnel...but I'm tredding carefully...the LAST thing I need is a rebound....but quite frankly, I'd like to be single for awhile...not to say I don't have my eye on someone...but I want to get over all this stuff for me first, so I don't have to drag anyone else in. These are my problems and it's time I stop pretending that I don't have them. Aaron is going to counseling with me (which may sound weird, but)..but I'm glad. I need him there...and he's heard it all before. In hard times...there are true friends...I don't know what I'd do without them (I love you Lana). I miss Rachel so much! :sighs: I remember a book I read in like 6th grade on my feminist kick..."boys are yucko"...I'd say that's an appropriate title for my currrent feelings...well revised, "most boys are yucko" That's all I've got...I'm exhausted and I have to study for a big math quiz and 2 oral exams in spanish...::sighs:: but it's okay because.... Time marches on, Time heals all wounds, and time stops for no one. And bitching....never got a damn thing accomplished... Searching For on 1/31/2005 10:08:00 PM.
Just when we think the world has ended...God sends us an angel...who helps us realize what we have to do...what we really miss...what we deserve...and what's right...Thank God for angels and miracles, because I found one tonight. Searching For on 1/31/2005 02:35:00 AM.
I guess I must be wishin' on someone else's star,
It seems like someone else keeps gettin' what I'm wishin' for. Why can't I be as lucky as those other people are? I guess I must be wishin'... on someone else's star Lord help me and forgive me for what I'm about to write. I'm so homesick...it's unreal. I miss my parents so much, I miss my house and my cats and my shower and I miss it all. I miss not having to make choices about alcohol and sex...especially sex. If I could erase anything...that would be it. I'd give anything to feel pure again, not like used garbage. I hate how focused relationships can be on sex and touching and ARGGG. Dammit I liked my platonic relationship with Nate, I liked how we didn't have to touch each other ALL the fucking time and I loved how he did touch me when it was a good time. I loved how when I told him to fuck me, he said no...and he kept his word. He could have...but he knew...I was a mess and not in the right mind to make that decision. Could I have done the same...positions reversed? for him...I'd like to think so. Lord help me...I miss him. All I had to do was talk to him. When he jokingly said since I was taken and Karen had moved out there was no reason for me to come down...I felt like I had been stabbed. Don't bother to tell me this is ridiculous, I realize this completely. But you can't HELP how you feel or who you LOVE and who you don't love. I don't love Austin. I think he's a great guy...and I realize love takes a long long time to arrive. My mind tells me to let things go, I don't know him well enough yet to be making these decisions. But my heart tells me...it's just going to be harder in the end. Everyone knows I hate to be alone, but I hate even more to drag someone along. And I wonder...am I dragging him along? Am I missing opportunities...I know I'm making decisions my head and my heart are against. I know I feel guilty and like I'm being tricked into things I don't want to do, I know I do not want to have sex for a very long time. In fact, fuck it...I DO NOT want to have sex in any relationship until there is a ring on my finger. I am sorry. Call me old fucking fashioned...but this is what I believe in. I don't want to date someone who won't go to church with me because it's important and they believe too. You don't have to be Catholic...but I can't live without my faith and I can't not share my faith with the person that I love. I miss my platonic relationship with Nate. I miss my nonplatonic relationship with Nate. When he told me he broke his finger I honestly wanted to drive 3 hours home and nurse him back to health (remind you...this is a FINGER, we're talking about, not a LIMB or an EYE). I actually felt sorry, I mean truly sorry. I miss Nate...God help me...this cycle has got to stop. I just broke down at my computer and cried out my story to Jeanners. I feel.....exhausted...and just confused....and guilty...I have too much homework and important things than to let this bother me...I should be sleeping so I can get everything done tomorrow. I wonder if this outburst of emotion is just PMS. But ususally PMS made me hate Nate. This doesn't make a LICK of RATIONAL SENSE. Not ONE DAMN BIT. But Lord help me....I can't help it...I wish I could. For now I'm going to avoid the whole situation...I'm going to let these emotions blow over and I'm going to shove myself into school and working out and getting things accomplished. Volunteer work, church, whatever it takes so I can shake the notion of this foolishness...because it is foolish and irfuckingrational. I just wish I knew I WHY I can still see a future with Nate...and I've NEVER seen one with anyone else. EVER. ANYONE. ::screams from frustration:: oh... BRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR I wanna go home where sex was never an issue. I can't change the past. But I'll be damned if I'll have sex again until someone I don't love. I'd rather die. It's not just physical, it's not just a game or something couples do. That's bullshit. Maybe it is in people's lives, but not mine. It's not fucking cheap. You know where the condoms are going too...right...in the fucking trash...where they belong. ARGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG Searching For on 1/31/2005 01:54:00 AM.
1.29.2005 I am......so.....so....so....so...soooo...lucky
::sighs:: life couldn't be much more perfect... well...classes could be a little easier... but other than that... Wonderful brother, great sister in law, wonderful parents, wonderful roommate, wonderful friends... and of course... wonderful boy (he makes me SO happy =-) ) Searching For on 1/29/2005 11:52:00 PM.
1.28.2005 So I'm tired as heck. But I have a quick post.
I have the coolest mom ever...she sent the greatest things today. and she's wonderfull all the time. I am a wonderfully lucky girl. Love you all! Searching For on 1/28/2005 02:14:00 AM.
1.24.2005 So much to do...math middy tomorrow morning, outline due the next morning along with a psychology exam that i have no idea what is on it...I'm still trying to figure out how to make it through math tomorrow. And so much stuff.... ::sighs:: shoot me now...
Searching For on 1/24/2005 01:04:00 AM.
1.20.2005 So...I'm exhausted...and this weekend is going to lack with the additional 3 spanish projects I was just given and the stipulation now that all homework must be typed because she can't read somebody's handwriting....but...I just wanted to comment that my brother...is my savior and I could not live without him. It's God's gift that I see him 3x every week. The older we get...the closer. Gotta love brothers
Searching For on 1/20/2005 09:03:00 PM.
So I should have learned by now that listening to "The Promise" by Tracey Chapman...is not a good way to free my brain from memories and let it sleep. I am going to pay for this post when I have to get up in a few hours, but my mind is swimming.
The first time I ever listened to The Promise....I had just downloaded it, it was hot in the summer and the windows were open in the den, I had on short white shorts and white tank top because it was so hot. I was talking to Nate. I remember during that song while talking to him...I realized for the first time ever that I wanted to claim this boy as my own, the first yearning of love I'd ever felt. I was so happy. Everything was so new with him, so safe. I always felt safe. I miss that feeling. After my initial bitchiness...I never had to worry about being hurt...and I knew I'd never intentionally hurt him ever again. Safe...we were...safe. I remember thinking that we were so risque! He never minded that I never knew what to say and how nieve I was. I always felt happy in his arms and I loved his touch, it never made me squirm in discomfort like all others have. His patience with me...his true desire to never hurt me...I was so safe, so cared for, although not loved. I was so lucky. He treated me like a princess even when I didn't act like one. I shared some of my most favorite memories/experiences with him and sometimes...mostly late at night...or when I'm drunk (I'm way too honest) I wish he were here, experiencing my life with me (not WITH me...but with me). I've never trusted someone so much in my life, he had every part of me...and yet he never ever took advantage of that. I was so safe. I'm never safe anymore. Everyone wants to fuck me before they know the slightest thing about me. Their kisses aren't sweet and unexpected, their passionate kisses aren't intoxicating and amazing, they're sloppy and rushed. Before I can get my name out, they want my shirt off. They tell me I'm beautiful before they ever tell me that I'm amazing. They're not safe and they don't care for me. They're looking out for themselves and they'll drop me whenever it's convient for them, I mean...nothing...I'm just a trophy, a sex object. They don't make me laugh or smile, really laugh and really smile, like he did. They don't call my bluffs and tell me that I'm stupid and actually mean it. They lie. I want to feel safe again. I want a MAN again. One who treats me like a princess, but isn't afraid to tell me that I'm acting like a moron, when I am. One that waits until the 2nd or 3rd date to hold my hand and kisses me gently when I let him. One with no expectations. Someone who deserves me, and I deserve them. I'm tired of settling. When your first love isn't a jerk...it makes dating (4 jerks) sickening. It so wrong to want a man that makes me feel safe? I'm not sure anymore... Searching For on 1/20/2005 02:11:00 AM.
1.17.2005 I'm gonna live my life
I can't ever run and hide I won't compromise Cause I'll never know I'm gonna close my eyes I can't watch the time go by I won't keep it inside Freak out, let it go Just freak out, let it go You don't always have to do everything right Stand up for yourself And put up a fight walk around with your hands up in the air Like you don't care ~Avril~ So I was up until 5am this morning and I was not the least bit intoxicated. It's nice not to have class today, although the reality of the week is setting in...so much to do, so little time (the story of a college student), but it's still okay. In fact...it's all quite good. Being up until 5am was worth it though. Not only did I get to talk to a highly intelligent, charming and intriguing guy with a fascinating perspective on life, I also watched the constant stress of my life flow away. It was absolutely gorgeous...and it will return again soon. ::begins personal pity trip:: I also decided that it's not fair that a nice northern girl like me always be attracted to southern gentlemen instead of northern assholes. It's such a cruel, cruel world... ::ends personal pity trip:: life tip of the day... "Don't settle for the one you can live with, wait for the one you can't live without" reminder of yesterday's tip of the day "The key component to making love, is to first be in love" I'm so helpful I know...and now I need to read psychology and study study study for my spanish midterm. love you all Searching For on 1/17/2005 02:04:00 PM.
1.16.2005 I had the greatest time today with my brother and sister. I woke up confused and hungover, but I got better after I went out to breakfast with P & J, then we went back to their place and did some lyrics and harmonies...I'm really excited about the new CD. Jenny and I had a talk, took Lucy out for a long walk. I love Jenny...she keeps me sane.
lol, so short relationships are 800x easier to get over. Long ones involve depression and this aching feeling of emptiness and crying. Short ones that you couldn't see the future with...involve waking up and thinking "oh my good heavens, what the HELL was I thinking?!" and relief...lol. ah well. We all live, learn...and then we get luvs.... *Happy Girl* Searching For on 1/16/2005 07:46:00 PM.
So....once again I have a heavy heart and I want to cry tears and I will cry tears, but it will be okay in the end. [WE both have to be drunk, but sometimes jamie makes exceptions.]---->this was courtsey of Jamie...and he was attempting to be sweet...so I just didn't have the heart to delete it.
Lessons learned -Never have sex in order to keep a guy from walking away...he'll just walk away later and he's not worth it. -If you can't see yourself with him in the future, let it go as soon as you realize this. -Let your first kiss be cute and magical together...not violent and needy. -If the 6th grade version of you would kick your ass...DO NOT DO IT!-College guys like sex and if they push it right away, tell them it's been great but CYA (as Jeanners would say). -Fighting/disagreements in the first week make it all very unmagical and fun...it's not worth the struggle then. -If your heart tells you no...don't let your head tell you that it'll get better or that your interests will mesh...they won't and things won't...let it go...better things are on the way my friend... And when you feel like you won't get up again and rejoin the dating world...remember -There are great and cute and wonderful guys out there like Nate & Jamie...all a girl has to do is look and pray...God will look out for her eventually. And the number one hope....maybe next time Clarisse will make intelligent and sweet decisions and not be a moron and get hurt again (although I was surprised I didn't cry or hurt or feel in denial...when you feel relief...it's weird...) Searching For on 1/16/2005 02:23:00 AM.
1.11.2005 I have very little to say...blogger isn't my favorite thing during college. But in quick summation...
It was a hellish first week and the most beautiful weekend I've ever had. Friday night (after surviving the first week and realizing the pile of hw I had to complete before Monday...we began pre-gaming at about 6:30 (about the time I stepped out of the shower), then we began getting ready for the "slutty secretaries and pimp business men" party. I will admit, we should have not drank before we got dressed. We looked the part...we spent some time in the guys suite after we were ready, having a few more and letting them enjoy the site of us. We then went our seperate ways. Jamie, Sarah and I went to the crew party. Sarah and I were drunk off our asses by the time we got there, after a few beers (yes I said beer...we drank beer...we were that far gone to not care) we ran into Karen and Gideon. I ran into many guys who "swore" they knew me. I was impressed by one, until I realized he had no personality. Then Austin caught my attention after I admitted that I couldn't remember his name after he had told me about 5 minutes before. I was interested and drunk and he much the same. We took a stroll outside into a deserted barn, then we made the executive decision to head back to his dorm room. The next morning we crawled out of bed about 2, walked the walk of shame together back to my dorm where we stayed together until he decided I should begin on the pile of homework before my brother called for the evening (his first batch of brew was done saturday). By Saturday evening I found myself dressed and clean and wanting to see him again. I called, we went to dinner and on my decision back to my dorm room. We watched How To Lose a Guy in 10 Days...he laughed at all the right parts (I love his laugh) and now cutely will follow the lines when I say them. We socialized with my floormates for awhile then returned to my room. Jeanne went to Frank's for the evening. We woke up about 9ish. I got ready to go meet P & J for church eventually and we walked each other to our destinations. Monday evening my phone rang. Beautiful dinner and a most gorgeous stroll by the lake and the nooks and cranies of campus ending with a trip to my room. Today....we did homework...seperately, but a phone call of course. The important parts? He makes me laugh like I haven't a care in the world, I wake up humming and go to bed smiling. I love the way I fit perfectly into his arms and how is hand always finds mine. How cute he is when I'm doing something and he's talking to my friends like he's known them forever. How comfortable I am with him. How we both wear "the shorts" in the relationship (haha). How I'm completely myself, how I can wear my tennis shoes and my hair all a mess and he still comes back to me. How happy he makes me... And most importantly... how he's the only guy on my mind... eventually...we all get over things...we move on.....and life is....GOOD Searching For on 1/11/2005 11:24:00 PM.
1.06.2005 Sometimes I wake up crying at night
And sometimes I scream out your name What right does she have to take your heart away When for so long you were mine So...I'm back at school...and to say the least, it's been hellish. But there are 2 cases of good times in our fridge and a party upstairs with Doug. Jeanne has already decided that we'll get wasted until we're content (she's taking the chemistry from hell this quarter...not pretty). Last night after reading psych about sex I decided to dream about sex (not horribly uncommon or odd I suppose) but the person I was having sex with...and how good the "sex" was...mind blower... I have 3 classes tomorrow then off to run errands then to Target and a workout. Then a shower...and the drinking begins and the search for the man of the evening begins. Every girl wants a little love. Jeanne and I have our standards these days (right, until we've had a few). What college coed and doesn't love being held tightly when she's drunk and letting the frustration of the week ebb out. Really...drinking kills all inhibitions and it's a great thing. Anyway...enough blabbering. I'm going to bed and to feel sorry for myself until I pop a top tommorrow night... Love you Searching For on 1/06/2005 11:47:00 PM.
1.02.2005 Leaving home for the quarter has come to be not my favoritest thing. I know that I can't stay here, that my life can't stay here and I've fought this break the fact that I cannot stay here...but it's still so hard to leave home. Home is comforting, home is always there when you're sobbing inside b/c you think you're a failure at life, when you're so frustrated the tears are creeping at your eyes but you refuse to let them out, because you're not yet able to let them out in front of anyone. You don't have time to cry in college, but you do have time to feel miserable and lonely (and content and loved of course). But your house...it encases your LIFE. They're the same front steps you rode your tricycle down and snapped it in half, the same place you built your first snow fort and sled down the hills, where you climbed trees and played hide and seek. Where you can ran in the rain because you could and where you have swung on your swing, singing your silly made up songs and believing that nothing could ever stop you. Where you ran from boys that had cooties and when you ran into the arms of your first love. Where you had your first kiss underneath the tree in the front yard and the butterflies you felt. Cuddling with your first love on the couch with the comfort of your parents upstairs if he tried anything you weren't fond of...but he never did because he actually didn't want to fuck you quite yet. ::sighs:: home is so comforting....college is so necessary. You know when you want to sob at college but you don't know who to go sobbing to? That's the part that STINKS. I hate grinning and bearing it sometimes. Sometimes you just want to sob and be held and feel loved. ::sighs:: this statement confirms the fact that I need to find the love of my life soon and he needs to live next door so he can be at my beck and call for all my mental breakdowns (as Simchick women have this frequently). lol. Oh wait, wasn't I revealing in the single life? Right right... Searching For on 1/02/2005 01:25:00 AM.
1.01.2005 ABOUT ME:
1. NAME: Clarisse Justine 2. BIRTHDAY: September 2nd 3. HEIGHT: 5'7.5". SHOE SIZE: 9ish 5. EYE COLOR: boring ol brown 6. HAIR COLOR: brown 7. BEEN KISSED: yes 8. DONE DRUGS: illegal ones? 9. BEEN ON STAGE: yes many times 10. HAD SEX: yes. 11. BEEN DUMPED: no. 12. GOTTEN INTO AN ACCIDENT: I ran my car up a snow drift in the school parking lot after a basketball game when I was pissed off for no good reason (then the anger managment classes began,lol) 13. EATEN AN ENTIRE BOX OF SWEETS: not since I was little. 14. DYED YOUR HAIR: yes... never a good idea 15. CHOKED IN FRONT OF SOMEONE: lol yeah, I had chewing issues as a child 16. WENT TO SCHOOL IN YOUR PJ'z: sweats yes, pj's no. 17. GOTTEN DETENTION: 6th grade...I was such a rebel 18. LOVED SOMEONE SO MUCH THAT IT MADE YOU CRY: was it love or confusion? 19. DO YOU LIKE SOMEONE RIGHT NOW: omg no! lol...sorry first time I realized that...not used to it yet. So I'm looking.... 20. DO THEY KNOW: they don't exist... 21. WHAT DO YOU LOOK FOR IN THE OPPOSITE SEX: laughter, happiness in their eyes, sarcasm, fun to be around and a perfect fit inside his arms. 22. COULD SEE YOURSELF MARRYING THAT SPECIAL PERSON: N/A PICK ONE 23. COLD // HOT: hot 24. BLACK // WHITE: black 25. RAIN // SNOW: rain...I adore playing in the rain 26. GIVE // RECEIVE: give 27. WOOL // COTTON: cotton 28. ROSE // DAISY: neither 29. PRIVATE // PUBLIC SCHOOL: public 30. PLAIN // CHOCOLATE MILK: plain 31. HISTORY // SCIENCE: history 32. MATH // ENGLISH: English 33. SPRING // FALL: Fall 34. ROCK // COUNTRY: country 35. PEPSI // COKE: neither, ick. 36. LOVE // LUST: love 37. EAT // SLEEP: sleep FRIENDS: 38. WHO DO YOU SEE THE MOST: At school—Jeanne, Aaron, Mel At home- Rachel 39. WHO IS THE MOST ANNOYING: haha..oh to start the list... 40. WHO DO YOU WISH TO SEE MORE OFTEN: someone I have yet to meet 41. WHO DO YOU E-MAIL THE MOST: my brother (isn't that sad) 42. WHO'S THE LOUDEST: Joe maybe 43. WHO'S THE SHYEST: Me! because I'm so shy! lol I have no idea 44. WHO ARE YOU JEALOUS OF: Girls who wear a size 0 45. WHO HAS THE BEST ROOM: ? 46. WHO'S THE HORNIEST: haha...oh dear.. 47. WHO DO YOU TRUST THE MOST: I trust people way TOO much and it's starting to become a problem 48. WHO KNOWS YOU THE BEST: Rachel & Lana 49. WHO'S YOUR BEST FRIEND: Rachel 50. WHO DID YOU HAVE SERIOUS TALKS WITH: Rachel, Carrie, Meghan, Kyle, Karen, Eric 51. WHO GETS ALONG W/ YOUR PARENTS: I don't subject my friends to meet my parents, lol kidding... my parents like everyone, but the volleyball team loved them mostest 52. WHO HUGS YOU THE MOST: Aaron 53. WHO DO YOU MISS THE MOST: I won't admit this 54. WHO FIGHTS W/ YOU THE MOST: I try so hard to be good and keep the peace.. 55. WHO ARGUES W/ YOU THE MOST: Lee probably 56. FAVORITE FRIENDS OF THE OPPOSITE SEX: Aaron, Kyle & Eric DO YOU LIKE TO: 57. GIVE HUGS: definitely 58. GIVE BACK RUBS: I’m good at them, too. 59. TAKE WALKS IN THE RAIN: love to...even when my clothes are soaked to me 60. WATCH TV: not really 61. GO TO THE BEACH: only with Rach 62. DO HOMEWORK: I don’t enjoy it, but I do get it done. 63. PLAY IN THE SNOW: no thank you 64. WORK OUT: depends 65. TALK ON THE PHONE: I hate phones! Bah. 66. STAY UP ALL NIGHT TALKIN TO A FRIEND: As long as it doesn’t involve a phone… 67. GO ONLINE: yes 68. BE KISSED: of course 69. DO WEIRD // FREAKY THINGS: lol...sometimes.. 70. BE WILD: I can be crazy hyper without alcohol, with alcohol, I am wild WHICH ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS: 71. IS MOST LIKELY TO BECOME A MODEL: Kyle 72. HAVE KNOWN YOU THE LONGEST: Lana 73. YOU KNOW MOST ABOUT: hmmm HAVE YOU EVER: 74. BEEN TO A CONCERT: yes 75. BEEN OUTTA STATE: yes, and out of the country. 76. GONE SKINNY DIPPIN: not willingly 77. RAN AROUND NAKED: yes, when I was like 2. (though I still do inside my house) 78. BROKEN A BONE: finger... 79. CHEATED ON A TEST: never 80. RAN A MARATHON: no, but Jeanne and I are going to run a half marathon before we graduate from undergrad 81. MET A FAMOUS PERSON: yep 82. BOUGHT SOMETHING AND SOLD IT: not really 83. STOLE FROM SOMEONE OR SOMEWHERE: never. 84. STALKED SOMEONE: lol once when I was young and confused...but only to see if I was being cheated on! YOUR LOVE LIFE: 85. SINGLE OR TAKEN: s i n g l e 86. IF YOU WERE TO GO OUT W/ ANYONE, WHO: oh geez...umm...Matthew 87. HAVE YOU EVER HAD AN ONLINE RELATIONSHIP: lol, let's not discuss this...kidding, kidding...no 88. BAD HABITS: worrying about pointless things, leaving homework until Sunday, wearing sweats too often, not giving a shit 89. MAKES YOU MAD: Liars, cheaters, mind games and controlling bastards. 90. SCARIEST MOMENTS: they're behind me 91. WHERE ARE YOU: at home 92. ARE YOU WEARIN ANY JEWELRY: the usual 93. LAST TIME YOU SHOWERED: a few minutes ago 94. COLOR OF PANTS YOU'RE WEARIN: black 95. WHAT SONG ARE YOU LISTENIN TO RIGHT NOW: 96. LAST THING YOU SAID: (I was singing...) “We're sitting on the ground and we whisper 'Say what you're thinking out loud' Tell me what you thought about when you were gone And so alone The worst is over You can have the best of me We got older But we're still young We never grew out of this feeling that we wont give up" 97. COMPUTER DESK IS MADE OF: plastic 98. LAST THING YOU ATE: strawberries =-} 99. WHAT YOU REALLY WANNA DO RIGHT NOW: Make everything smaller and easier to pack...and get back to OSU and see everyone. I miss you guys so much! 100. WHAT COLOR OF CRAYON WOULD YOU WANNA BE: Red. 101. IF YOU COULD CHOOSE TO LIVE W/ 1 PERSON FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE WHO WOULD IT BE: I'll tell you in 10 years Yes or no: 1. You keep a diary: blogger 2. You like to cook: yep 3. You have a secret you have not shared with anyone: of course 4. You believe in love: what's life without it? Do you... 1. Have a crush? not in particular 2. Want to get married? without question 3. Get motion sickness? yes 4. Think you're a health freak? neglecting alcohol, I can be 5. Get along with your parents? for short periods...they're awesome, they just try to run my life a little too much sometimes. 6. Like thunderstorms? I like making out during them Favorites 1. Numbers: 5 2. Colors: black and red and yellow 3. Day: Friday...when the fun begins 4. Month: any summer month...when you do things you'd never do during the year and yet you still don't regret them. It's such a beautiful time. 5. Song: changes daily...often "The Best of Me" by The Starting Line, "Strawberry Wine" by Deana Carter, "The Places You Have Come to Fear the Most" Dashboard, "You Wonder Why they Call you Bitch" 2pac, "Blue Skies", "Gentle Woman" "Hands" Jewel, "Why" Avril.....alright I give up...it depends 6. Food: strawberries 7. Season: summer and fall 8. Sport: volleyball 9. Drink: strawberry daq's Preferences: 1. Cuddle or makeout: how about both? cuddle. 2. Chocolate milk, or hot chocolate: hot chocolate 3. Milk, dark or white chocolate: milk 4. Vanilla or chocolate: vanilla 5. Blue or green: green 6. Cellphone or IM: cellphone 7. Go out with your ex or your ex's best friend: ex's best friend 8. Hary Potter or Lord of the Rings: tough...so tough..Harry Potter 9. Short or long hair: whatever looks best 10. Gold or silver: white gold (I'm so expensive and not worth it, haha) 11. Glasses or contacts: well since I can't ever get my contacts in... 12. Teletubbies or Barney: neither 13. J-14 or USAA: umm, I don't know what those are... 14. TV or radio: radio 15. Sanrio or Disney: Disney 16. Butt or boobs: I like boyz and I don't like man boobs, you figure it out In the last 24 hours, have you... 1. Cried? yep 2. Helped someone? yes 3. Bought something? no 4. Gotten sick? yes, virus, yech 5. Gone to the movies? no 6. Gone out for dinner? yes 7. Said "I Love You"? yep (to my kitty) 8. Written a real letter? no, but about to write a thank you 9. Talked to an ex? nope 10. Missed an ex? nope 11. Written in a journal? blogger 12. Had a serious talk? all my talks with Rach are serious, lol 13. Missed someone? yes 14. Hugged someone? yes 15. Fought with your parents? almost 16. Fought with a friend? no Name 5 bands you listen to: green day, Dashboard, Dixie Chicks, The Starting Line...can't think of 5th Name 5 things you hate: being an emotional girl, being/feeling alone, wanting someone who doesn't want you back, wasting years on something/someone worthless, sleeping alone Would you ever... 1. Eat a bug? yes, already did (YUCK) 2. Bungee jump? perhaps someday 3. Hang glide? If I neglect to remember that I'm afraid of heights again 4. Kill someone? it would be difficult...if they attacked my family or some such I'd want to 5. Kiss someone of the same sex? maybe...I'm on the slippery slope 6. Have sex with someone of the same sex? doubtful, I like guys too much 7. Parachute from a plane? if I forgot about being afraid of heights 8. Walk on hot coals? no 9. Go out with someone for their looks? how hot are they? kidding...Rach and I know this is a bad idea 10. For their reputation? what kind of reputation? 11. Be a vegetarian? it could happen 12. Wear plaid with stripe? sure 13. IM a stranger? yes 14. Sing Karaoke? yes, but it's more fun if everyone is drunk 15. Get drunk off your ass? yes 16. Shoplift? naw, it doesn't belong to me 17. Run a red light? red or pink? 18. Star in a porn video? eh...DOUBTFUL...but for the record..how much am I getting paid and how drunk am I? 19. Dye your hair blue? unlikely.. 20. Be on Survivor? no thanks 22. Not wear makeup in public? lol yeah 23. Cheat on a test? no thanks 24. Make someone cry? did they deserve it? 25. Date someone more than 10 years older than you? yes 26. Stay up all night? yes Searching For on 1/01/2005 01:08:00 PM.
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