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2.28.2003 I've felt to so odd lately. I'm having trouble everywhere in life and it's getting frustrating, well ok, my sports are on, but I'm throwing myself into them and trying to eliminate the rest of the world. I'm staying in all weekend. Chris called tonight, another spontaneous take me back call. Bah humbug. Lana made me smile today, I was happy for that. I'm so frustrated with life. not life but life. I'm so frustrated with priorities, it seems like school takes over all and I can't rebalance it. I'd honestly like to see someone about it, but I'm afraid to ask. My dad thinks I'm LD literally and called some chick today b/c I can't see the 3D objects or moving/relfecting graphs and stuff. I feel like a constant basket case. Kyle does care for me, but I know he doesn't know how to reach me, he's always been the one so messed up and confused. He's trying but i feel almost unreachable. Guilt and aniexty plague me like no other much of the time and the only one who might have a clue how vunerable I really am is Lana, bless her. Guilt follows me almost everywhere, it's awful. I want Kyle, Kyle wants me but we can't b/c I'm too afraid to have to give up that time. THE TIME. URGHRUHGRHguRHUGHughRUhgRU. I hate it sometiems. Life is good, don't get me wrong, but right now.....I need some guidance. and I'm running out of time it seems constantly. Heaven help me, tell me what to do. am i ready to give love a go? I don't even have time to do my homework....but if it were Kyle...I can actually see this relatinship....no I don't imagine or daydream, but I see certaint hings....I need to worry about school.....arg.....night all Searching For on 2/28/2003 11:51:00 PM.
2.15.2003 It was quite the beautiful Valentine's Day. Everything went perfectly. lol, my favorite part of the day, though it was a close tie, had to be when Kyle was like, "you so want me" and replied, "don't worry, I just want to fuck you." hahaha, I love that guy, ok I don't love him, but I do love having him as my best friend, I could tell him anything. He and Bridget got back to being friends again and I thought my relationship with him was going to go to hell, but it didn't. He's such an awesome friend. He's definately a DF given the right opportunity. lol, I know I'm awful, at least I'm honest. But truthfully, tonight was really awesome, especially when out of the blue Kyle's like you know you're the person I'd tell first about everything and all this stuff. He's told me that before but I really like hearing it. I love just being so comfortable with him. I mean he opens my purse and puts his food for later in my tampon compartment, I mean, what a guy. I'm going to miss him when I go to college so incredibly much it's not even funny. I even enjoy him thought b/c I don't get jealous anymore, I used to get jealous when he talked to other girls and get hurt and now I'm just like, I like being the best friend, it's a role I can handle. Friends with benefits might be tolerable too. lol, I'm tired, I need some sleep. Good night all Searching For on 2/15/2003 01:41:00 AM.
2.10.2003 Andrew and I just talked about our whole big "diaster" from homecoming two years ago. And he brought it up. He's someone I can HONESTLY say is a really great friend. Why didn't I date him again? lol, oh well, things may turn out to be interesting..... Searching For on 2/10/2003 09:45:00 PM.
2.06.2003 Kyle asked me to go "with" him to homecoming! I'm second choice after Lauren is being witchy about it, but I'm still excited. The "with" meaning we're just buying a ticket together, but Danielle and I always stag it due to the uneven amount, so we can't even buy tickets with guys. Then I was talking about my dress and he was hinting around matching it and I was like, awwwww. lol. I'm not telling my mom though b/c she'll demand pictures, and I just want to have fun. The whole night will be a no obligation to anything night. I can't wait. lol. ok of course I hope I look drop dead gorgeous but if I look sexy that's good enough for me. lol. I may have screwed up my anal test but that's ok, life goes on. Today was such a good day! I'm not in love with Kyle or obsessd, he's just my best guy friend and it's so much easier being around him and knowing I can be a bitch one day and it's ok, it goes away, we both get happier and it's ok. We're allowed to be pissy and. It's just such a healthy relationship, I don't have too many of those and I love it. It's the most beautiful thing about our friendship. We had dare role models today and he was the sweetest, I mean he had to hang out with Carrie and I for a couple hours and he was so good about it. Then he was thinking about going with Lauren and he remembered that she might not be able to now and he asked me to go with him no matter what, b/c he's tired of Lauren. He's allowed to love lauren, but I need to be the friend like that. When he goes back to Bridget I know I'll hate it but maybe this time he won't, I mean there's always that option. Plus I'm doing fabulous on my diet, maybe not sur emuch on the strength training part, but I am dead tired. I got the Valley Forge thing today and I got the highest grade on our English test (ok, so it was an 88%) but with the curve. Kelly was being annoying about it but I just pretended I didn't hear. It's like oh get over yourself already. I love Kyle b/c he accepts my smartness and although he doesn't really like it very much when he does worse, he's accepting and he knows how I feel about my grades, it makes me feel so much better about myself. I know that's sad but oh well. Searching For on 2/06/2003 03:24:00 PM.
2.04.2003 Mi nombre es Clarisse Evans y yo resido en 6661 Camino de Cala, Middletown Nuevo, Ohio, 44442. Mi número del teléfono es (330) 542-2913 y mi dirección correo electrónico es Leapoffaith17@aol.com.
He asistido Springfield la Preparatoria Local por tres años. He completado 2 años de inglés de Honores con un UN + promedia, y mantaining actualmente que promedia. He tomado la Algebra yo, la Algebra II, la Geometría, y tomo actualmente las Matemáticas el Análisis todos los cuales tengo un UN + promedia. He tomado la Ciencia Integrada 1, la biología, y tomo actualmente la química y he mantenido también un UN + promedia. He tomado también los Honores la Historia de Mundo, la Historia americana y me soy matriculado actualmente en la Historia de AP, y he mantenido también un UN + promedia en éstos. Quizás la mayoría del importante, he tomado y he mantenido un UN + promedia en tres años del español. He trabajado varios trabajos en el pasado. Como un niño joven yo tendí mis cien conejos de vecino dos veces diariamente. Fue acusar de alimentar, mantener el agua que limpi, y limpiar el granero. He trabajado también la vigilancia de los niños varios Searching For on 2/04/2003 02:13:00 PM.
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